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One of the worries I hear in our community is this: “How will I ever get pregnant if I (or my partner) has herpes?” It’s a real fear, and it makes sense — we’re taught to associate herpes with risk, stigma, and complications. But let me reassure you: herpes is not a barrier to starting a family.

Herpes doesn’t stop you from conceiving, and it doesn’t make you infertile. Plenty of people with herpes go …

People often tell me I’m “brave” because I talk openly about herpes. And every time I hear it, I can’t help but think: why should this even be considered brave? We’re talking about a virus — one that’s incredibly common, ridiculously easy to catch, and in no way a reflection of someone’s worth. Kids get it. People in committed relationships get it. Partners who cheat pass it on. People who have been assaulted carry it. Yet somehow, herpes is still wrapped in stigma and silence.

And please, don'…

We’ve all been there—you borrow a drink, share a bite of food, or maybe even use the same lip balm as a friend who casually says, “Oh, don’t worry, it’s just a cold sore.” Cue the panic: Did I just catch herpes?

Let’s break this down together.

Cold sores are caused by herpes simplex virus type 1 (HSV-1). It’s incredibly common—more than half the world’s population has it. Many people pick it up in childhood, often without even knowing.

Shaving might seem like a normal part of self-care, but if you’re living with herpes, it can sometimes stir up questions—and even outbreaks. The truth is, while you can shave if you have herpes, it’s important to know the risks and alternatives so you can make choices that keep your skin (and your confidence) protected.

When you shave, you create tiny micro-tears in the skin—even if you don’t notice them. These small breaks in the skin can:

I believe before we start any relationship, we must start at the basics first. Sometimes we must call out the obvious first.

In this case, the obvious thing is everything I don’t know about you.

So, let’s start there, with what I don’t know about you:

I don’t know the situation that brought about the skin condition.
If you were single/dating and having “sex outside a marriage” (or if not having “sex outside of mar…

One of the most common questions people have after possible exposure to herpes is: “When will I know if I caught it?”

The truth is, there isn’t a simple answer. Herpes doesn’t follow a predictable timeline, and everyone’s experience looks a little different.

If you were exposed to herpes, the average window for a first outbreak is anywhere from 2 to 12 days after contact. That’s why some people notice symptoms very quickly, while others might not.

But here’s where it g…

Living with herpes can feel confusing sometimes. Whether you’re newly diagnosed or you’ve been managing it for years, there always seem to be new questions popping up:

If you’ve ever wished you could get clear, supportive, and trustworthy answers—without spending hours lost in Google rabbit holes—…

When people hear about counseling and STDs, the first thought is often: “Oh, someone must have cheated.” But that’s not always the story.

Many people get herpes or another STD from a past relationship, or from a partner who didn’t even know they had it. No lies, no betrayal—yet the diagnosis can still feel like an emotional earthquake.

Getting told you have herpes (or any STD) can stir up a flood of feelings—fear, shame, guilt, even anger. You might wonder:

Why hair is nature’s protective barrier—and how to protect yourself if you choose to remove it.

When it comes to grooming, many of us don’t think twice about waxing, shaving, or trimming. But here’s something you might not know: removing hair can actually increase your chances of getting—or transmitting—herpes.

Hair isn’t just there for looks. Pubic and body hair act like a natural barrier between your skin and pathogens, including bacteria and viruses like herpes simplex…

So, you’ve just received a herpes diagnosis. Maybe it feels like the air has been knocked out of you. Maybe you’re calm… but confused. Maybe you’re somewhere in between. However you’re feeling—you’re not the only one who’s been there.

All of us in the Secret Society Support Group know what those first 30 days are like. We remember the shock, the tears, the shame, the Google rabbit holes, the moments of wondering: “What now?”

This is your survival guide. And better yet—you don’t have to survive…