Something Was Wrong but I Didn't Think It Was Herpes - Oh Sh*T Anniversary Pt.1

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This week we're going to do something different.

Eleven years ago I was diagnosed with genital herpes.

This year in 2022 falls on the same days of the week as in 2011. I've shared things here and there but I've never walked you through exactly what I did and how I felt. Share what I can remember and the good, the bad and the ugly. My intention for this week is to bring awareness to herpes: your life moves on and you forget how big of a deal it is. Talk you through the exact week 11 years ago, build awareness and hand hold you through your diagnosis. Reconnect so that you know you are not alone.

It was Sunday late afternoon early evening when me and my boyfriend had gotten home from a Palm Springs weekend getaway. We were headed to a 4th of July firework celebration that the community hosted. Anyway, we were in my bathroom and he picked me up. I can't exactly remember how he did it but somehow his arm was between my legs and then the other one was around my back. When he did that I practically screamed. I suddenly was in tremendous amount of pain.

I remember thinking: put me down. I also remember thinking that I really needed a break from him as we had been together all weekend and that I didn't really want him to go to th
e bbq that night. That's besides the point. But that was the first bit of pain I had experienced. On the car ride home earlier that day I remember a bit of discomfort but I thought that it was just from having a lot of sex. Also, we were in our swimsuits all weekend and I remember thinking that I must be getting a yeast infection or BV. Something was off.

We went to the 4th of July community celebration, had a hot dog and some watermelon and that was that. That night when I went to bed I can remember thinking that the pain from that hug just kept getting worse. I was wearing white jeans that night and it was so painful to sit down. So I did what I think most people do. I decided to look in the mirror.
Now I'm chuckling because it's a really hard thing to do. My sink was pretty high so I couldn't see anything in the bathroom. I had to look in the mirror that was in my bedroom. I remember laying on my bed but the bed was too far away to then see anything in the reflection. I then was trying to get in the award pose in front of the mirror but that was way more difficult than twister. So I pulled out, wait for it, my iPod. To take a photo of it and see what was going on down there.

And there I saw the beginning of blisters.

I was freaking out! My hands started shaking. I immediately thought OMG, I have herpes. But then you think otherwise, because there was no way that I had herpes. I mean, it wasn't like it was a one night stand. I had known this guy for 15 years and now we were dating.
Just by chance I had my annual physical scheduled for that Tuesday. I remembered thinking that maybe this would just go away but if not I'd be at the appointment on Tuesday.
Somehow I got to sleep and got myself to 6:00 am yoga on Monday morning.

Let me fill you in a little bit about my life back in 2011. I mean I had an iPod which was still cool so don't judge that. But i was 28 and was stuck in a funk. I had dated guys that ended up to be dead ends, I was still living at home because I had gotten into debt when I was 25. I had a great job in the mortgage industry but was emotionally struggling and not in a great spot. I was still in that phase of going out to taco Tuesday and having drinks and then showing up to work the next day feeling depleted and so on. In other words I really wasn't taking care of myself and was just bumping along. Needless to say the idea of being crushed with a herpes diagnosis was something I wasn't prepared to handle. But of course this was really the right time for it to happen because what I'll share and what you've heard my talk about in the past was, getting herpes really forced me to wake up and make positive changes in my life.

I'd love to hear your story so feel free to leave a comment blow. I'll see you in the next video.


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