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We're Promoting Sexual Freedom, but Shaming STDs Like Herpes
We Claim to Be Sex-Positive—So Why the Double Standard?
We live in an era that celebrates sexual liberation—open relationships, casual dating, and body positivity are mainstream. Yet, despite all this progress, herpes stigma remains one of the last socially acceptable forms of shame.
Think about it:
- We encourage people to explore their sexuality without judgment.
- We preach acceptance for all kinds of relationships.
- We normalize conversations about pleasure, kinks, and sexual health.
Bu…
How I Spent My 4th of July with a Herpes Diagnosis - Oh Sh*T Anniversary Pt. 7
Everything feels so out of reach when you are first diagnosed. Everything comes crumbling down and you feel like you're never going to be able to come up for air. It's suffocating and terrifying at the same time. Would love to tell you after I was diagnosed I picked up and was able to straighten my life out right away. That wasn't the case and I did not have a rebound in one day or even the week later.
Back when I was diagnosed I was really struggling. So now it's the 4th of July. I had pla…
Before You Worry About Their Reaction, Ask: Do I Even Want This Person in My Life?
Why We Forget to Evaluate Our Own Standards When Disclosing Herpes
Disclosing your herpes status can feel like standing on a cliff’s edge, waiting to see if your partner will catch you or let you fall. The fear of rejection is real—so real that we often forget to ask ourselves one crucial question:
"Do I actually want this person in my life?"
We get so caught up in their potential judgment that we skip over our own standards. But here’s the truth: A relationship is a two-way street. If you’re…
The Day I Got Diagnosed with Genital Herpes Was the Worst Day of My Life: Oh Sh*T Anniversary pt.5
It's Friday July 1st and this was the day that changed my everything. This was the day 14 years ago that I got diagnosed with genital herpes. I still have the dress that I was wearing when I was diagnosed with herpes so I thought I'd be fun to try it on.
If you can remember I had gone for my annual physical on Tuesday, so I was patiently awaiting my results. I was thinking that if I don't get a phone call by 3:00 then I'll have to call the doctors because otherwise it's a holiday weekend w…
What Life with Herpes Looks like for 14 Years - Oh Sh*T Anniversary Pt.5
In case you're just tuning in and haven't been following along this weeks series, let me bring you up to date. This is my "oh shit anniversary", aka the week I got diagnosed with genital herpes. So I'm bringing you along for the emotional ride and sharing what my diagnosis was like.
At this point in the week I still had not received my diagnosis and there was still so much up in the air. I remember feeling so unsettled and was in limbo wondering if I had herpes and if it was going to change…
What Doctor Said when I Went for My Physical: Oh Sh*T Anniversary pt.3
In case you missed it, we're in the middle of the Oh Shit Anniversary. It was 14 years ago I was diagnosed with herpes.
Now it's Tuesday and I know something is wrong. This is the same day as it was eleven years ago. By now the blisters had fully shown up and I was in unbelievable pain. I felt so sick and could not imagine what was going on. Today was supposed to be just a regular physical but instead it turned into the day to go to the doctors and get a resolution.
I had totally mixed …
Something Was Wrong but I Didn't Think It Was Herpes - Oh Sh*T Anniversary Pt.1
This week we're going to do something different.
14 years ago I was diagnosed with genital herpes.
I've shared things here and there but I've never walked you through exactly what I did and how I felt. Share what I can remember and the good, the bad and the ugly. My intention for this week is to bring awareness to herpes: your life moves on and you forget how big of a deal it is. Talk you through the exact week 14 years ago, build awareness and hand hold you through your diagnosis. Recon…
When You Have Constant Outbreaks: Here’s What We Suggest
So often people will reach out to us, asking about constant outbreaks. Outbreaks that come every month. Sometimes one outbreak hardly heals, and another one is coming. It's not only annoying to be constantly having outbreaks, but it's mentally draining. Add the fact that we want to be intimate with our partners, and not having to worry every day.
So, finally we have decided to just put it all together. Here is the things we will tell you if you ask us. (Or we will just send you a link to this b…
I Didn’t Tell Them I Have Herpes—Now What?
It’s a situation no one hopes to be in, but it happens more than we talk about. You’ve already been intimate with someone, and now you're carrying the weight of not disclosing your herpes status before that moment. Whether it was fear, shame, denial, or simply not knowing how to bring it up—you’re now facing the decision: do I tell them?
In one of our recent support group calls, this very topic came up. The truth is, you’re not alone. So many people are navigating dating with herpes and facing …
What's going on in our SS: Group for people with herpes
Real Stories, Real Support—No Judgment, Just Healing
Okay, today I want to do something different. I want to give you a real, unfiltered look inside our Secret Society group. I talk about it a lot—because honestly? This is where the healing begins.
And why is that?
Because of our support group calls.
If you’ve ever been in that place where you needed to get something off your chest, you know how freeing it feels just to say it out loud. I’m not even talking about fixing the problem right t…