Blog

The First 30 Days: Herpes Diagnosis

photo-1633526543814-9718c8922b7a
So, you’ve just received a herpes diagnosis. Maybe it feels like the air has been knocked out of you. Maybe you’re calm… but confused. Maybe you’re somewhere in between. However you’re feeling—you’re not the only one who’s been there.

All of us in the Secret Society Support Group know what those first 30 days are like. We remember the shock, the tears, the shame, the Google rabbit holes, the moments of wondering: “What now?”

This is your survival guide. And better yet—you don’t have to survive…

Read more…

How to Talk About Herpes with Your Friends

photo-1716324836514-4f1b62b6da29
Telling friends about your herpes diagnosis can feel like standing at the edge of a high dive—terrifying at first, but often liberating once you take the leap. The truth is, herpes is far more common than most people realize, and chances are, someone in your social circle has it too. The key is approaching the conversation with honesty, simplicity, and the understanding that how you frame it shapes how they’ll receive it.


Why Talking About It Matters

When a Secret Society member, first told …

Read more…

Afraid to Kiss My Loved Ones on the Cheek (Because I Get Cold Sores)

photo-1643179299656-d74fa20e7783
If you live with oral herpes (HSV-1), chances are you’ve hesitated at some point to kiss a loved one—especially during or after a cold sore. The fear of accidentally transmitting the virus can feel overwhelming and isolating, even in the most loving relationships. We would get questions from people who are afraid to kiss their nieces and nephews, children who are afraid to kiss their parents, and vice versa. There are cultures where kissing is part of every day's culture. People who kiss their b…

Read more…

Swimming with Herpes: Is It Safe to Hit the Pool, Sea, or River?

photo-1589677306963-360c184c155c
Summer’s calling—sunshine, swimsuits, and that irresistible urge to jump into the water. But if you live with herpes, whether it’s HSV-1 or HSV-2, you might pause before diving in and wonder: Is it safe for me to swim in public pools, the ocean, or freshwater lakes if I have herpes?

Let’s clear up the confusion. Spoiler: yes, swimming is safe—but like anything, there are a few things worth knowing.


🌊 How Is Herpes Actually Transmitted?

Herpes simplex virus (HSV) is spread through direct ski…

Read more…

How Stress Worsens Herpes Outbreaks (And What Helps)

photo-1453227588063-bb302b62f50b

Why Your Mental Health Directly Impacts Your Immune System

If you've noticed herpes outbreaks popping up during stressful times, you're not imagining things—science proves stress and anxiety directly trigger flare-ups. Research shows that chronic stress weakens immune function, making it easier for the herpes virus to reactivate. But here's the good news: managing your mental health can be just as important as taking care of your diet, stress levels, sleep and medication or supplements you're t…

Read more…

What Is Herpes to Doctors?

photo-1638202993928-7267aad84c31

The Medical Truth Behind the Stigma

How Healthcare Professionals Really View Herpes

If you’ve ever left a herpes diagnosis feeling ashamed or scared, here’s a reality check: To doctors, herpes is just a virus—not a moral judgment.

While society treats herpes like a scandalous secret, medical professionals see it for what it is: a common, manageable skin condition. So why does the public perception differ so much from the clinical one? Let’s break it down.


1. Herpes Is Medically Mundane

"H…

Read more…

What You Can & Can’t Do with Herpes

photo-1657923768391-1cebeaa252c5

Living With Herpes Doesn’t Mean Living in a Bubble

One of the biggest fears after a herpes diagnosis is the sudden belief that your life is now full of restrictions.

Can I kiss my kids?
Can I swim in a pool?
Do I need separate dishes?

The good news? Herpes doesn’t stop you from living a normal life. But there are a few things to be mindful of—especially during outbreaks. Let’s separate fact from fiction.


✅ Things You CAN Do With Herpes

1. Swim in Pools, Hot Tubs & the Ocean
Herpes is n…

Read more…

We're Promoting Sexual Freedom, but Shaming STDs Like Herpes

photo-1647338064706-8b5f9b10e66a

We Claim to Be Sex-Positive—So Why the Double Standard?

We live in an era that celebrates sexual liberation—open relationships, casual dating, and body positivity are mainstream. Yet, despite all this progress, herpes stigma remains one of the last socially acceptable forms of shame.

Think about it:
  • We encourage people to explore their sexuality without judgment.
  • We preach acceptance for all kinds of relationships.
  • We normalize conversations about pleasure, kinks, and sexual health.
Bu…

Read more…

How I Spent My 4th of July with a Herpes Diagnosis - Oh Sh*T Anniversary Pt. 7

ohahitannuversary7 my4thofjuly (Blog Banner)

Everything feels so out of reach when you are first diagnosed. Everything comes crumbling down and you feel like you're never going to be able to come up for air. It's suffocating and terrifying at the same time. Would love to tell you after I was diagnosed I picked up and was able to straighten my life out right away. That wasn't the case and I did not have a rebound in one day or even the week later.

Back when I was diagnosed I was really struggling. So now it's the 4th of July. I had pla…

Read more…

Before You Worry About Their Reaction, Ask: Do I Even Want This Person in My Life?

Why We Forget to Evaluate Our Own Standards When Disclosing Herpes

Disclosing your herpes status can feel like standing on a cliff’s edge, waiting to see if your partner will catch you or let you fall. The fear of rejection is real—so real that we often forget to ask ourselves one crucial question:

"Do I actually want this person in my life?"

We get so caught up in their potential judgment that we skip over our own standards. But here’s the truth: A relationship is a two-way street. If you’re…

Read more…