Do your past partners even need to know that you have herpes?

When you’re just recently diagnosed with herpes hundred-and-one questions go through your mind. Usually a top one is where did I get this from. In some cases you may know exactly who you got it from for one reason or another but most of the time we don’t really know who it came from or when we got the HSV virus. 

I know when I was diagnosed with herpes I was going crazy with wondering who gave me this. I was still in the victim mod…

What to say when your partner tells you they got herpes from you

Generally, our first outbreak is so bad and we’re in so much pain that we think to ourselves that we’d never want to give our partner herpes. I know this was how I felt. I was like, I’d never ever want to put someone through the physical pain or the emotional pain I just went through. I can remember telling my doctor that I was never going to date again or have sex for that matter. I felt like I was going to just shrivel up and …

How a Herpes Diagnosis Improves Your Sex Life

The thought of having a healthy sex life and herpes usually don’t go together in the same sentence. I know when I was diagnosed with genital herpes the thought of having sex was disgusting to me. I can remember thinking that that was what got me in this mess and so now I have to pay for my mistakes. By the way… it took about 2 years to forgive myself and believe that I didn’t make a mistake and I didn’t do anything wrong. 

Then I got over the disgu…

Benefits of Having Sex Even with a Herpes Diagnosis 

On the day you’re diagnosed with herpes the absolutely last thing on your mind is having sex. Unless you’re playing through your head who you had sex with and how you got herpes. But the idea of moving on and having sex with either your current partner or a new partner is not even on your mind. 

Let’s face it, you’re in excruciating pain and probably can’t even sit down, you are in emotional pain from learning that you have an STD that will…

Herpes And Sex Can Go Together

Herpes diagnosis and liberated sex life don’t normally go in the same sentence or even in the same conversation. When I hear liberated sex life I think of the sexual revolution and that does not include herpes.  

But  here’s the deal it’s totally possible to be liberated and have your own sexual revolution with your herpes diagnosis. Of course this takes time and does not happen overnight. When you’re diagnosed with herpes the last thing on your mind is having se…

YES You Can Have Sex Even Though You Have Herpes. 

This is the number one thing we all freak out about when we’re diagnosed with herpes. Getting the diagnosis that says, “you have herpes” somehow equates in our mind that we can never have sex again. 

We immediately go to the place of this is punishment for having sex and I did something wrong so now I can’t do that any more. Or maybe we go to the place of who’s going to want to have sex with me. The thought of being damaged goods or dirt or di…

 Here’s Why It’s Safer to Date Someone with Herpes

The initial thought of dating someone with herpes usually isn’t that it’s safe or even a good idea for that matter. And trust me, just saying this makes me mad.  But we’re not going to go there with the stigma that’s for another episode.

But really it’s good news when your partner tells you upfront that they have herpes. Also, a total side note but something to consider is that it was probably a really hard conversation to have so you should…

Herpes Is Just an Excuse to Not Get What We Want

I’m going to jump right to it and just say it. We use our herpes diagnosis to hold us back and keep us in the corner. 

Don’t agree with me?

When I was first diagnosed back in 2011 I can remember feeling all of my hopes and dreams just vanishing. I can remember thinking to myself, why’d I even bother going to college, why do I work so hard at work, why should I take care of my body and my health, there’s no way I’m going to marry the man o…

How To Be Yourself When You’re Dating With Herpes 

Dating can feel like it’s overwhelming and scary. We put so much pressure on ourselves from society, our family, maybe our friends to pick the right one and settle down. Being in love can be scary too. We don’t want to put our hearts out there to have it crushed or our ego completely shut down. 

Now let’s add our herpes diagnosis to dating. The thought of even dating with herpes sounds and feels impossible. Back to the ego and fear of rejectio…

What a Herpes Diagnosis and Casual Sex Really Mean

I’m going to get right to it. Yes, you can have casual sex even with a herpes diagnosis! 

But here’s the deal, there’s a few steps that need to be taken before jumping in between the sheets. 

When this topic comes up in my Emergency Calls or our Support Group calls it usually starts out with something along the lines of, “I can never hook up again” or “it’s so hard to watch my friends hook up with whoever they want and I can’t do that anymore…