What You Can & Can’t Do with Herpes
Living With Herpes Doesn’t Mean Living in a Bubble
One of the biggest fears after a herpes diagnosis is the sudden belief that your life is now full of restrictions.
Can I kiss my kids?
Can I swim in a pool?
Do I need separate dishes?
The good news? Herpes doesn’t stop you from living a normal life. But there are a few things to be mindful of—especially during outbreaks. Let’s separate fact from fiction.
✅ Things You CAN Do With Herpes
1. Swim in Pools, Hot Tubs & the Ocean
Herpes is not spread through water. Chlorine and saltwater actually make transmission in pools or the ocean nearly impossible.
2. Kiss, Hug & Play With Your Kids
- If you have oral herpes/cold sores: Avoid kissing them only during an active outbreak. Other than that, kids need your love. They need you to kiss and hug them. More than the risk of them getting herpes is the risk that they will grow up with the lack of your attention, which can have a long-term psychological effect).
- If you have genital herpes: No risk from casual contact like hugs, cuddles, or playing together.
3. Share a Household (Including Kitchenware, Towels & Bathrooms)
Herpes doesn’t survive long on surfaces and is killed by warm water and soap. You can:
- Use the same dishes, cutlery, and cups.
- Share washing machines and bathrooms.
- Sleep in the same bed (just avoid skin-to-skin contact on active sores).
4. Shake Hands, Cuddle & Be Close to Others
Herpes spreads through direct skin-to-skin contact with an active outbreak—not from casual touch.
5. Have a Normal Sex Life (Outside of Outbreaks)
With precautions (condoms, antivirals, communication), many couples have sex for years without transmission.
❌ Things You Should Avoid (Especially During Outbreaks)
1. Having Sex With an Active Outbreak
- The risk of transmission is highest when sores are present.
- Alternative: Check out of blog post: Intimacy during herpes outbreak (link)
2. Shaving or Grooming Over Outbreak Areas
- Razors can spread the virus to other parts of your skin.
- Pro tip: Let hair grow—it’s there to protect sensitive skin anyway!
3. Horseback Riding, Cycling, or Tight Clothing During Outbreaks
Friction and sweat can irritate sores and slow healing. Opt for loose clothing and take a break from activities that rub the affected area.
4. Picking at Sores (No Matter How Tempting)
This spreads the virus, increases scarring, and prolongs healing.
5. Sharing Personal Items During an Outbreak
- Lip balm, razors, or towels with fresh viral shedding could theoretically spread it.
- Once sores heal, this is no longer a concern.
The Bottom Line? Herpes Doesn’t Define Your Life
The only real "restrictions" with herpes are:
✔ Avoiding direct skin contact during outbreaks.
✔ Being mindful of friction/healing in flare-ups.
Otherwise? You can date, swim, parent, and live exactly as you did before—just with a little extra awareness.
Need more guidance? Our Herpes Outbreak Toolkit covers everything from soothing outbreaks to navigating life with confidence.
Because herpes might be part of your story, but it doesn’t get to write the whole book. 📖💛
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