Blog

Telling Your Partner

The Day I Got Diagnosed with Genital Herpes Was the Worst Day of My Life: Oh Sh*T Anniversary pt.5

ohahitannuversary6the dayiwasdiagnosed1.7. (Blog Banner)

It's Friday July 1st and this was the day that changed my everything. This was the day 11 years ago that I got diagnosed with genital herpes. I still have the dress that I was wearing when I was diagnosed with herpes so I thought I'd be fun to try it on.

If you can remember I had gone for my annual physical on Tuesday, so I was patiently awaiting my results. I was thinking that if I don't get a phone call by 3:00 then I'll have to call the doctors because otherwise it's a holiday weekend w…

Read more…

What Life with Herpes Looks like for 11 Years - Oh Sh*T Anniversary Pt.5

ohahitannuversary5 30.6. (Blog Banner)

In case you're just tuning in and haven't been following along this weeks series, let me bring you up to date. This is my "oh shit anniversary", aka the week I got diagnosed with genital herpes. So I'm bringing you along for the emotional ride and sharing what my diagnosis was like.

At this point in the week I still had not received my diagnosis and there was still so much up in the air. I remember feeling so unsettled and was in limbo wondering if I had herpes and if it was going to change…

Read more…

Herpes Disclosure: After You’ve Slept with Them

Herpes Disclosure After You’ve Slept with Them (Blog Banner)

This topic brings up so many emotions. If you just slept with someone and they then later told you that they have herpes, I’m sure you are angry and confused. And if you have herpes and just slept with someone and didn’t tell them, I bet you have a lump in you stomach. 

First, I want to talk about why it’s important to disclose. At the end of the day you are sharing the most intimate part of yourself with someone else. That does not just mean emotionally, that also means physically. You are p…

Read more…

Can You Have Unprotected Sex If You Have Herpes?

Can You Have Unprotected Sex If You Have Herpes (Blog Banner)

Yes, of course you can. But before you hit the sheets with your partner let’s talk about some details first.

One of the biggest fears or thoughts are about having sex when you’ve been diagnosed with herpes is that you’ll have to use a condom for the rest of your life. 

The other day I was listening to a podcast and the woman called on and said that she was interested in a guy but he has genital herpes. She naturally was concerned and proceeding very cautiously. I mean, I totally get it. One …

Read more…

Tell Your Partner Toolkit

Tell Your Partner Toolki (Blog Banner)

So I think all the toolkits and products that we have are great but if I had to pick one I think this is such an informative toolkit. 

Our biggest fear once we’re diagnosed is dating. It’s the fear of rejection, it’s the how do I disclose, do I need to disclose and so on. All of these feelings questions and emotions are valid and an important part of the herpes journey. 

What I did and I don’t want to happen to you is feel stuck and or not put yourself out there. I stayed in a relationship w…

Read more…

How I Told My Husband I Have Herpes

How I Told My Husband I Have Herpes (Blog Banner)

In case you don’t know it, I’m married and my husband does not have herpes! 

This comes as a shock to a lot of people. I don’t think it’s the married part but the part that my husband doesn’t have herpes. 

Of course prior to having herpes and when we hear of people having herpes we automatically assume that anyone they sleep with will automatically get herpes. At least that was what I thought. 

But this post is not about how to prevent transmission to your partner, I have many other posts y…

Read more…

Should You Tell Your Past Partners about Your Herpes Diagnosis

Do My Past Partners Need to Know About my Herpes Diagnosis alexandra harbushka

Do your past partners even need to know that you have herpes?

When you’re just recently diagnosed with herpes hundred-and-one questions go through your mind. Usually a top one is where did I get this from. In some cases you may know exactly who you got it from for one reason or another but most of the time we don’t really know who it came from or when we got the HSV virus. 

I know when I was diagnosed with herpes I was going crazy with wondering who gave me this. I was still in the victim mod…

Read more…

3 Ways Your Sex Life Improves with Herpes

3 Ways Your Sexlife Improves with Herpes alexandra harbushka

How a Herpes Diagnosis Improves Your Sex Life

The thought of having a healthy sex life and herpes usually don’t go together in the same sentence. I know when I was diagnosed with genital herpes the thought of having sex was disgusting to me. I can remember thinking that that was what got me in this mess and so now I have to pay for my mistakes. By the way… it took about 2 years to forgive myself and believe that I didn’t make a mistake and I didn’t do anything wrong. 

Then I got over the disgu…

Read more…

3 Reasons Why Dating with Herpes Is Safe

3 Reasons Why Dating with Herpes Is Safe - Alexandra Harbushka

 Here’s Why It’s Safer to Date Someone with Herpes


The initial thought of dating someone with herpes usually isn’t that it’s safe or even a good idea for that matter. And trust me, just saying this makes me mad.  But we’re not going to go there with the stigma that’s for another episode.

But really it’s good news when your partner tells you upfront that they have herpes. Also, a total side note but something to consider is that it was probably a really hard conversation to have so you should…

Read more…

Don't Do This If Your Friend Has Herpes

Don't Do This If Your Friend Has Herpes - Alexandra Harbushka

You’re Friend Will Hate You If You Do This After They Tell You They Have Herpes  

Picture this, your BFF just sat you down and poured her heart out to you telling you that she has genital herpes. 

Of course you’re just as shocked and don’t know what to say. I get it. I can remember my friends didn’t know what to say to me either. I think we just opened a bottle of wine and it made everything feel better. But in all seriousness, wine isn’t the answer and you need to be there for your BFF.

Here…

Read more…