Blog
Dating
There Is Risk and Reward in Every Relationship
Why your disclosure moment is just one chapter in a much bigger story—and how to keep the focus on the relationship that matters.
Let's talk about the weight we put on one single moment.
You've been there. Maybe it's been a few days, maybe a few months, or maybe you're still staring at your phone trying to craft the perfect text. That moment when you finally say the words, when you tell someone you have herpes. It looms so large in your mind that it starts to feel like the entire relationship …
If I Wear Boxers and Condoms, Is It Possible To Avoid Herpes Transmission
So many times we get a question: How do I protect my partner from herpes? Or, even more specific: How can I make sure I don't transmit?
And we understand people would like to hear the 100%. Do these things in order, and you are forever safe. But in reality, relationships are not machines. We are not machines. We don't (oftentimes) plan our intimacy. Intimacy is often spontaneous, and not planned in details. It happens between partners.
Herpes is transmitted with skin to skin contact. If you co…
STD-Related Trauma: Why Counseling Isn’t Just for Cheating
When people hear about counseling and STDs, the first thought is often: “Oh, someone must have cheated.” But that’s not always the story.
Many people get herpes or another STD from a past relationship, or from a partner who didn’t even know they had it. No lies, no betrayal—yet the diagnosis can still feel like an emotional earthquake.
Why It Can Feel Traumatic
Getting told you have herpes (or any STD) can stir up a flood of feelings—fear, shame, guilt, even anger. You might wonder:
- “Wil…
The Day I Got Diagnosed with Genital Herpes Was the Worst Day of My Life: Oh Sh*T Anniversary pt.5
It's Friday July 1st and this was the day that changed my everything. This was the day 14 years ago that I got diagnosed with genital herpes. I still have the dress that I was wearing when I was diagnosed with herpes so I thought I'd be fun to try it on.
If you can remember I had gone for my annual physical on Tuesday, so I was patiently awaiting my results. I was thinking that if I don't get a phone call by 3:00 then I'll have to call the doctors because otherwise it's a holiday weekend w…
What Life with Herpes Looks like for 14 Years - Oh Sh*T Anniversary Pt.5
In case you're just tuning in and haven't been following along this weeks series, let me bring you up to date. This is my "oh shit anniversary", aka the week I got diagnosed with genital herpes. So I'm bringing you along for the emotional ride and sharing what my diagnosis was like.
At this point in the week I still had not received my diagnosis and there was still so much up in the air. I remember feeling so unsettled and was in limbo wondering if I had herpes and if it was going to change…
Something Was Wrong but I Didn't Think It Was Herpes - Oh Sh*T Anniversary Pt.1
This week we're going to do something different.
14 years ago I was diagnosed with genital herpes.
I've shared things here and there but I've never walked you through exactly what I did and how I felt. Share what I can remember and the good, the bad and the ugly. My intention for this week is to bring awareness to herpes: your life moves on and you forget how big of a deal it is. Talk you through the exact week 14 years ago, build awareness and hand hold you through your diagnosis. Recon…
I Know My Partner is Still Afraid to Get Herpes
The Fear That Lingers – And How to Face It
Recently, a woman in our community shared something many couples experience: "My partner knows I have herpes. We’ve talked about it. He says he accepts it… but I can tell he’s still afraid of getting it."
If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone. Many loving, committed relationships hit this exact hurdle—even after disclosure, even after years together.
So how do you move past it?
First: Normalize the Ongoing Conversation
Why One Talk Isn’t Enou…
Herpes: God’s Punishment?
The Myth That Needs to Die
For centuries, sexually transmitted infections have been shrouded in shame, often tied to moral or religious judgments. One of the most persistent myths is that herpes—or any STI—is "God’s punishment" for immoral behavior. This belief isn’t just outdated; it’s harmful. It fuels stigma, isolates people, and ignores the biological reality of how common and manageable herpes actually is.
Let’s set the record straight: Herpes is not a punishment. It’s a virus—one th…
Take Time When Dating with Herpes: Build Connection Before Intimacy
Whether you or your partner has herpes, taking your time in a relationship is important for building trust and connection. It’s natural to want to get to know someone first before diving into the more complex parts of the relationship. There’s no rush—you can enjoy each other’s company and allow the relationship to develop at a pace that feels comfortable for both of you.
1. Take It Slow and Enjoy the Moment
If your partner has herpes and you’re unsure of how to move forward, that’s okay. Take…
Disclosing That You Have Herpes Before the First Date
Why It May Not Be the Best Idea
Deciding when to disclose that you have herpes is a deeply personal decision. For many, the instinct to be upfront about their diagnosis comes from a place of wanting to be honest and avoid potential future complications. But disclosing that you have herpes before the first date may not be the best strategy for a few reasons.
1. It Can Create an Unnecessary Barrier Early On
Disclosing your herpes status before even getting to know someone can place an unnec…