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Dating after a Herpes Diagnosis

Dating after a Herpes Diagnosis (Blog Banner)

It’s totally possible and your dating life can be totally normal. In general we put so much on our plate to date. Things like: he has to be the one, or I’m so tired of dating immature people, are there any good ones left out there, ugh, here we go again and so on. We females put pressure on ourselves to find a good one and settle down, it’s what society expects from us. Regardless there is pressure from all angles to date and find someone. 

Then we also have the pressure of the casual sex. Th…

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Intimacy during an Outbreak

Intimacy During an Outbreak (Blog Banner)

Can you have sex if you have a herpes outbreak? Well yes and no. Let me explain.

Let’s back up a bit and talk about how herpes is transmitted. Herpes is transmitted via skin to skin. So what that means is that if you only have oral herpes and you have an oral outbreak, you are contagious only on your mouth. And vice a versa, if you have genital herpes and not oral herpes, then you are only contagious genitally. 

So is it possible to have sex with a herpes outbreak, well let’s define sex and …

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Can You Have Unprotected Sex If You Have Herpes?

Can You Have Unprotected Sex If You Have Herpes (Blog Banner)

Yes, of course you can. But before you hit the sheets with your partner let’s talk about some details first.

One of the biggest fears or thoughts are about having sex when you’ve been diagnosed with herpes is that you’ll have to use a condom for the rest of your life. 

The other day I was listening to a podcast and the woman called on and said that she was interested in a guy but he has genital herpes. She naturally was concerned and proceeding very cautiously. I mean, I totally get it. One …

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Can You Be in a Monogamous Relationship and Still Get Herpes?

Can You Be in a Monogamous Relationship and Still Get Herpes (Blog Banner)

Recently on social media someone commented on my live and said that if I hadn’t been so promiscuous I wouldn't have gotten herpes. 

There’s a lot of ways we can dissect this comment. Also, instead of going off on this man I used it as a learning opportunity to talk about how promiscuity has nothing to do with getting herpes. 

However, I’m going to contradict myself really quickly here. On some level it is a numbers game. So the person who has sex with 100 people is far more likley to have he…

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What to Know when Dating Someone with Herpes

What to Know when Dating Someone with Herpes (Blog Banner)

So the person you’re into just told you that they have herpes. Now what?

Honestly, this is great news. This person really cares about you and is doing what he or she can do to try to prevent transmission. Transmissions occur less often when a disclosure takes place because the person with herpes can take precautionary methods to help avoid transmission. 

But here are 5 things you need to know about dating someone with herpes.

1. Firstly, you need to know that that person really cares about …

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Explode Lube

explodelube (Blog Banner)

The Secret Society Wellness Products are something that I have not done a great job of sharing with you. These are products that I formulated with specialists to create natural soothing solutions to people living with herpes outbreaks. We launched the first product in 2019 and now we have 11 different wellness products. 

So today I want to talk about the only lube that has been formulated to support people living with herpes. As we all know friction can cause outbreaks. The last thing we want…

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Rejection after a Herpes Diagnosis: 3 Reasons Why It Happens

Rejection after a herpes diagnosis (Blog Banner)

Rejection as a whole is a legit fear. It sucks, it hurts and we feel like we’re failures. We just put our heart or effort into something to have it not work out. Rejection can look like not getting invited to the sleepover when you’re in the 6th grade, or not getting into the University of your choice, to not getting the job and so on. Now we add rejection when it comes to love or what we think is love. I mean when you really like that guy or girl, to have them ghost you really hurts. 

I got ge…

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Should You Tell Your Past Partners about Your Herpes Diagnosis

Do My Past Partners Need to Know About my Herpes Diagnosis alexandra harbushka

Do your past partners even need to know that you have herpes?

When you’re just recently diagnosed with herpes hundred-and-one questions go through your mind. Usually a top one is where did I get this from. In some cases you may know exactly who you got it from for one reason or another but most of the time we don’t really know who it came from or when we got the HSV virus. 

I know when I was diagnosed with herpes I was going crazy with wondering who gave me this. I was still in the victim mod…

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What to Do If You Give Your Partner Herpes

you gave your partner herpes alexandra harbushka

What to say when your partner tells you they got herpes from you


Generally, our first outbreak is so bad and we’re in so much pain that we think to ourselves that we’d never want to give our partner herpes. I know this was how I felt. I was like, I’d never ever want to put someone through the physical pain or the emotional pain I just went through. I can remember telling my doctor that I was never going to date again or have sex for that matter. I felt like I was going to just shrivel up and …

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3 Ways Your Sex Life Improves with Herpes

3 Ways Your Sexlife Improves with Herpes alexandra harbushka

How a Herpes Diagnosis Improves Your Sex Life

The thought of having a healthy sex life and herpes usually don’t go together in the same sentence. I know when I was diagnosed with genital herpes the thought of having sex was disgusting to me. I can remember thinking that that was what got me in this mess and so now I have to pay for my mistakes. By the way… it took about 2 years to forgive myself and believe that I didn’t make a mistake and I didn’t do anything wrong. 

Then I got over the disgu…

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