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The Secret Society: An Online Support Group for Herpes Community

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Finding out you have herpes can be a difficult and isolating experience. When Alexandra, the founder of The Secret Society was first diagnosed, she felt alone and without support. That's why she created The Secret Society, an online support group for people living with herpes.

The Secret Society is a place where people from all over the world come together to find support, make friends, and talk about their herpes journey. It's a safe space where people can be open and honest without fe…

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Accepting My Flaws and a Herpes Diagnosis - There Is More than Just Herpes

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There are way bigger fish to fry in a relationship than having herpes. We always put the herpes issue as the worst possible thing that you could have and you'll never be accepted because you have herpes. Well I'm not saying its not a big conversation and I'm not saying that you'll always be accepted and won't get rejected but what I'm saying is that there are other big things too.

Someone asked me to talk about this as a blog topic. Saying that having herpes is just one of the things your p…

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Being Promiscuous Will Get You a Herpes Diagnosis

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Well, yes and no. Yes, it's a numbers game and the more people you’re exposed to, the greater chance you have at contracting it. However, with over 80% of the population having herpes it makes it so common that even being monogamous, you can wind up with herpes. 

What we need to get away from is associating promiscuity with getting herpes and beginning to look at the fact that the majority of the population has it. I’ll get trolls on the internet tell me that I’m disgusting because I have h…

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Being Diagnosed with Herpes Later in Life (40s, 50s, 60s,...)

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Somebody once said something along these lines: Maybe that's easier when you're diagnosed at a younger age, but I'm over 40, it's so hard for me to accept this now.

It's easier to be diagnosed with herpes in your 20's. It's easier to get diagnosed with herpes in your 50's. These are all things I hear on a weekly basis. We always think the grass is greener on the other side.

I want to talk about this today because I've had a lot of people recently come to me and say that it would be way e…

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The Day I Got Diagnosed with Genital Herpes Was the Worst Day of My Life: Oh Sh*T Anniversary pt.5

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It's Friday July 1st and this was the day that changed my everything. This was the day 11 years ago that I got diagnosed with genital herpes. I still have the dress that I was wearing when I was diagnosed with herpes so I thought I'd be fun to try it on.

If you can remember I had gone for my annual physical on Tuesday, so I was patiently awaiting my results. I was thinking that if I don't get a phone call by 3:00 then I'll have to call the doctors because otherwise it's a holiday weekend w…

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What Life with Herpes Looks like for 11 Years - Oh Sh*T Anniversary Pt.5

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In case you're just tuning in and haven't been following along this weeks series, let me bring you up to date. This is my "oh shit anniversary", aka the week I got diagnosed with genital herpes. So I'm bringing you along for the emotional ride and sharing what my diagnosis was like.

At this point in the week I still had not received my diagnosis and there was still so much up in the air. I remember feeling so unsettled and was in limbo wondering if I had herpes and if it was going to change…

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Something Was Wrong but I Didn't Think It Was Herpes - Oh Sh*T Anniversary Pt.1

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This week we're going to do something different.

Eleven years ago I was diagnosed with genital herpes.

This year in 2022 falls on the same days of the week as in 2011. I've shared things here and there but I've never walked you through exactly what I did and how I felt. Share what I can remember and the good, the bad and the ugly. My intention for this week is to bring awareness to herpes: your life moves on and you forget how big of a deal it is. Talk you through the exact week 11 years…

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Afraid to Get Herpes: Here’s What to Do

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Before getting herpes or a STD/STI I was terrified of getting one, especially herpes. I mean look at what the stigma says about people who have herpes. They are disgusting, they have slept around, they are whores that got this because they did something wrong and now they are paying for it and it can go on and on. Obviously I don’t beige this stigma and neither should you. 

In case you didn’t know I was actually a sexual educator back in high school. I went through training organized by Plann…

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Herpes Dating Stories: What You Really Need to Know when Disclosing

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Now that we have herpes one of the biggest fears is disclosing to a partner. I know this was my big fear and why I stayed the the guy I got herpes from for 2 years. I was so paralysed with fear of the rejection that I didn’t think anyone would ever want to date me because I was used goods. In fact this is the number one question I get from you all, whether it be in our weekly support groups or in DM’s or in the comments. The fear of disclosing just stops us. 

Let me just get to the point ther…

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HSV2 Is Contagious 10% of the Time

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Now that we have herpes we want to know what the chances are that we’re going to transmit herpes to our partner. I get asked this daily on my lives and in the comments. There is the preconceived thought that if you have herpes you’re contagious all the time and you’ll have outbreaks all the time and that your entire body is contagious. I can happily tell you that that is not true. 

Here’s how it works. 

Firstly, your entire body is not contagious. I’ve been asked by people who are newly diag…

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