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Telling Your Partner

3 Ways to Keep Your Relationship Hot with a Herpes Diagnosis

3 Ways to Keep Your Relationship Hot with a Herpes Diagnosis - alexandra harbushka

You Can Have a Hot Relationship With Herpes 

Let’s face it. When we get diagnosed with herpes we think our sexyness is gone. It’s almost like it’s not possible to be sexy with a herpes diagnosis. I mean that’s what the stigma tells us. Personally, it makes me mad. 

The stigma tells us that we’re bad people or that we are no longer equal when it comes to having a hot relationship. Well, it’s totally BS. Everyone is deserving of a hot, juicy, steamy relationship. And here’s the secret. It takes …

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What Should I Tell My Boyfriend about My Herpes before We Have Sex?

What Should I Tell My Boyfriend about My Herpes before We Have Sex_ - Alexandra Harbushka


How to Talk to your Boyfriend About Having Herpes 

Talking about sex is something that in general we don’t feel comfortable about. As adults we get all uncomfortable when a sex topic comes up and it’s like we turn into little kids. It’s so funny. But at the same time it’s a real problem. We need to learn how to talk to our partners about sex and that includes safe sex, birth control, desires and so on. 

Today we’re talking about how to talk to your boyfriend or girlfriend about having herpes…

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4 Things to Say If Your Friend Has Herpes How to Be There for Your BFF when They’re Diagnosed with Herpes

4 Things To Say If Your Friend Has Herpes - alexandra harbushka

How to Be There for Your BFF when They’re Diagnosed with Herpes


You and your best friend are hanging out having a glass of wine and she says to you, “I have herpes”. 

You immediately pour another glass of wine and don’t know what to say. 

Have you been there?  Of course you don’t want to say the wrong thing and you want to be there to support your BFF.  Let’s face it, she's scared and you’re there wanting to make all the pain go away. 

Ok so here’s what to say and how to comfort your frien…

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Is Herpes Dirty? How to Tell Your Friends & Family

_Is Herpes Dirty_ How to Tell Your Friends & Family - alexandra harbushka

What You Need to Know before You Tell Your Friends and Family 

Hearing the words, “I’m clean” when talking about STI’s is so common. Personally it makes me cringe when I hear it. Typically when we’re about to be sexually active with a new partner the conversation usually uses the words, “don’t worry I’m clean” in it. Sound familiar?

Hear’s the deal, using the word “clean” when talking about herpes or any other STI is just silly. Firstly it adds a connotation that a person with herpes is a dirt…

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Oral Sex & Herpes

Oral Sex & Herpes - blog Alexandra Harbushka

What you need to know about oral sex and herpes

One of the common questions I get from the community has to do with oral sex. Oral sex is kind of left out of the equation when we’re talking about sex, sex education or sexual health. Typically what comes to mind when we talk about sex is just the plane old heterosexual vaginal sex. And then when we talk about safe sex or even in sex ed classes, oral sex is kinda just left out. It’s like it’s not really considered sex.  

Ok so here’s the deal, y…

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Can You Have Unprotected Sex with Herpes?

Can You Have Unprotected Sex with Herpes_ - blog Alexandra Harbushka

Do you always have to use protection now that you have herpes?

The quick answer is no! You can absolutely have unprotected sex even if you have herpes. Before we dive deep and go into explanation on this let’s talk about how this is a huge myth and is one of the drivers for the stigma.

When we are diagnosed and told that we have herpes we automatically think that we’re going to be forced to use condoms for the rest of our lives, even when we’re married. Yuck! And this is not true. Yes, condoms…

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What Happens when You Give Your Partner Herpes: After You Disclosed

What Happens when You Give Your Partner Herpes After You Disclosed with alexandra harbushka blog

You disclosed you have herpes, use protection and now your partner has it too. What to do next!

This is one of our biggest fears when we find out we have herpes. The last thing we want is to pass it to someone else and have them experience what we went through. I mean it’s physically painful and emotionally painful. 

One of the aspects I like to bring up is normally when we’re diagnosed with herpes it came to us by surprise. Either our partner didn’t tell us or our partner didn’t know. Either …

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What Happens when You Don't Disclose You Have Herpes

159_ What happens when you don't disclose you have Herpes- blog alexandra harbushka

What Happens When Your Partner Finds Out You Have Herpes


Disclosing is one of the things that we fear the most when we’re diagnosed with herpes. There’s so much that we wrap up into dating and wanting to feel desired and now with a herpes diagnosis we are fearful that we’ll get rejected.  We either don’t disclose because we’re so caught up in the stigma and with the fear of rejection or we just got caught up in the moment and didn’t get a chance to disclose. Ok this happens...I get it but let…

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I Gave Him Herpes, Now What?

144_ I Gave Him Herpes. Now What_ alexandra harbushka blog

This is one of the scariest things that cross our minds when we’re first diagnosed with herpes. A typical thought that goes through our minds is how awful our diagnosis was and how we’d never want anyone to experience the physical pain of the outbreak. Sometimes we feel like the guilt of giving herpes to someone would be the worst thing too. 

I get asked all the time in our Secret Society about how to deal with giving herpes to your partner. The truth is I’ve never touched on this because I’ve …

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3 Hard Words You Have To Say With Herpes

143 - 3 Little Words You Have To Say With Herpes - blog

Is it harder to say I love you or I have herpes?

Let’s talk about those three little words that are brought up when you’re dating.

So I overheard someone say that it's so hard to say those three little words. I immediately thought of the words I LOVE YOU.  Right? I mean wouldn't you? We’ve been so marketed to by hallmark and diamonds are for every type of campaigns that when we think of the three little words we think of  I LOVE YOU. But as the conversation continued and I heard the three word…

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