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Monday call Insights

Navigating the Eeyore Phase: A Journey to Self-Love After Herpes Diagnosis

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This week during our support group call and on social media, the recurring theme has been centered around the challenges of leaving a relationship or starting to date again after a herpes diagnosis. The initial fear of feeling unlovable often stems from past hurts, making the diagnosis seem like the ultimate confirmation of being cursed to a life of loneliness.

In this blog post, we'll address this common struggle and discuss what I refer to as the "Eeyore Phase." As we delved into this topic d…

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A Story of Breaking from the Shame of Herpes

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This past week’s support group call surpassed all expectations, marking a memorable moment for our community. We were thrilled to welcome Lindsey Ellyn, the celebrated author of "The Shame Game," and a previous guest on the Life With Herpes Podcast. Her presence brought an unparalleled level of engagement and insight, reflecting the essence of what we aim to achieve with our bi-weekly live support groups: fostering a supportive community and providing a platform for open dialogue and growth.
Th…

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Forgiveness: Overcoming the Hurdle of Herpes in a Relationship

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This week's support group discussions delved into profound healing conversations. Our morning group had so many people from all over the world and we shared experiences about the initial herpes diagnosis, while the evening call focused on the challenging journey of forgiveness and staying with a partner after contracting herpes. So for this week's blog post, we'll explore the complexities of overcoming the hurdle of forgiveness in the context of a herpes diagnosis within a relationship.

Lack …

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Valentine's Day & Herpes

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This week's icebreaker led us to explore feelings about Valentine's Day, particularly considering the impact it can have on those diagnosed with herpes, especially those who are recently diagnosed. The idea behind initiating this discussion was to recognize that the concept of love can be particularly triggering for individuals grappling with a herpes diagnosis.

Beyond the superficial aspects of the holiday—like cards, chocolates, or roses—I wanted to delve into the deeper realm of lo…

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Herpes: Shifting from Victimhood to Empowerment

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This week, our support group welcomed new and familiar faces, including a member celebrating their 4-year "Living with Herpes" anniversary. It's heartwarming to witness our community grow and evolve while maintaining the same unwavering support for those navigating a herpes diagnosis. Our discussions delved into the complexities of emotions such as victimhood, shame, and empowerment, sparking a powerful conversation about discovering the core issues that herpes brings to the surface and how …

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How Do I Deal with Herpes Shame?

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This week's support group calls welcomed numerous new members (yay) and those recently diagnosed with herpes (welcome). For those of us who have walked this path, the initial diagnosis wraps us in a veil of shame, creating a fog that seems impenetrable. The beauty of the Secret Society Support Group lies in the collective experience, boasting over 70 years of combined wisdom from individuals living with herpes. Personally diagnosed with HSV1 in 2003 and HSV2 in 2011, I've traversed two decades o…

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Can You Be Perfect with Herpes

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The support group call this week delved into a topic we rarely discuss but is profoundly relevant - perfectionism. This hit close to home for me, being an only child and feeling the pressure to conform to an ideal persona. The journey of striving to be perfect has been a constant in my life, and the diagnosis of herpes brought a new layer of complexity to this pursuit of flawlessness.

Perfectionism often stems from external expectations, whether from family, peers, or society. Seeki…

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Navigating Unexpected Rejection: Herpes and the Unseen Impact on Friendships

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Living with a herpes diagnosis presents challenges beyond the physical symptoms and the potential rejection from romantic partners. Often overlooked is the heartbreaking reality of facing rejection from those we expect to stand by us unconditionally—our friends and family. In a recent support group meeting, the conversation delved deep into this aspect, shedding light on the often silent but profound impact of rejection within friendships following a herpes diagnosis.

The stories shared in ou…

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Turmoil with the Herpes Outbreak Cycle

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Let's talk about the emotional turmoil that accompanies the herpes outbreak cycle. It's akin to being trapped in a cycle, much like the "Hotel California" where you check-in but struggle to leave. The sensation of an outbreak emerging is all too familiar. It starts with tingling, itching, burning, or even pain, signaling another unwelcome episode of herpes. And so begins the roller coaster of anxiety.


This roller coaster doesn't wait for an invitation; it just shows up, demanding attention.…

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My Fifth Cold Sore Ever and How We Support Each Other in Our Support Group Calls

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As we gather each week for our support group, it never fails to amaze me how our conversations organically weave around different themes. Sometimes it's dating, rejection, diet – each sharing a piece of our lives. This time, I'm stepping into vulnerability to share my recent experience.

Let me take you to my Sunday. Picture this: a serene Sunday afternoon, watching my son splash in the bathtub when suddenly, I felt a tiny bump on my lip. Disbelief and panic struck. I had minutes before work…

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