The Shame Game

When you had heard that you (or a partner) had been diagnosed with genital herpes…

How did you grieve?
What did you grieve?
Who did you grieve?
Or did you grieve?

I am a believer that it’s important that when we get tough news around things like health
to not bypass the grief that the news brings. The grief—no matter what type—is an
important aspect and recognition of the experience. It’s important to get it out of your
body and expressed while also not letting it consume you. The grief is part of the
in…

Before I had been diagnosed with herpes, I didn’t realize how lost I was in my own life.

Everything I was doing was based on how the world told me to live, was focused on the glamorization of sin (although I didn’t use that language at the time), and the complete disintegration of all aspects of myself.

It was hearing things around me like:

“You need to explore your body to know what you like.”

“It’s what people do.”

“That’s normal.” (For things that should not be normal.)

But it was also …

I remember once hearing that we never actually see ourselves, only reflections of ourselves through mirrors. It’s everyone else who sees us with the most accuracy, because it’s reality versus a reflection.

The opposite of that is also true too: no one who sees us ever actually knows all of us, only the appearance we project on the outside. It’s us who understands our inside world with the most accuracy, because it’s reflection versus a reality.

So, it is wild to think—if we can’t see ourselves…