If you’ve had herpes for a while, you might have noticed something strange — your outbreaks often seem to appear in the exact same spot. But then, sometimes… they don’t. So what’s really going on? Why does herpes sometimes stick to one place, and other times decide to surprise you somewhere else?

Let’s break it down.

Once you’re infected with the herpes simplex virus (HSV-1 or HSV-2), it doesn’t live on your skin — it hides inside your nerve cells near the spine.

If you’ve been diagnosed with herpes, you’ve probably heard about antivirals. They’re one of the most common tools doctors recommend to manage herpes outbreaks—and for good reason. But what exactly do they do, and how do the different brands compare? Let’s break it down.

What Antivirals do

Herpes is caused by the herpes simplex virus (HSV), which stays in the body for life. Right now, there’s no cure, but antivirals can help by:

People often tell me I’m “brave” because I talk openly about herpes. And every time I hear it, I can’t help but think: why should this even be considered brave? We’re talking about a virus — one that’s incredibly common, ridiculously easy to catch, and in no way a reflection of someone’s worth. Kids get it. People in committed relationships get it. Partners who cheat pass it on. People who have been assaulted carry it. Yet somehow, herpes is still wrapped in stigma and silence.

And please, don'…

We’ve all been there—you borrow a drink, share a bite of food, or maybe even use the same lip balm as a friend who casually says, “Oh, don’t worry, it’s just a cold sore.” Cue the panic: Did I just catch herpes?

Let’s break this down together.

Cold sores are caused by herpes simplex virus type 1 (HSV-1). It’s incredibly common—more than half the world’s population has it. Many people pick it up in childhood, often without even knowing.

Shaving might seem like a normal part of self-care, but if you’re living with herpes, it can sometimes stir up questions—and even outbreaks. The truth is, while you can shave if you have herpes, it’s important to know the risks and alternatives so you can make choices that keep your skin (and your confidence) protected.

When you shave, you create tiny micro-tears in the skin—even if you don’t notice them. These small breaks in the skin can:

One of the most common questions people have after possible exposure to herpes is: “When will I know if I caught it?”

The truth is, there isn’t a simple answer. Herpes doesn’t follow a predictable timeline, and everyone’s experience looks a little different.

If you were exposed to herpes, the average window for a first outbreak is anywhere from 2 to 12 days after contact. That’s why some people notice symptoms very quickly, while others might not.

But here’s where it g…

So, you’ve just received a herpes diagnosis. Maybe it feels like the air has been knocked out of you. Maybe you’re calm… but confused. Maybe you’re somewhere in between. However you’re feeling—you’re not the only one who’s been there.

All of us in the Secret Society Support Group know what those first 30 days are like. We remember the shock, the tears, the shame, the Google rabbit holes, the moments of wondering: “What now?”

This is your survival guide. And better yet—you don’t have to survive…

Telling friends about your herpes diagnosis can feel like standing at the edge of a high dive—terrifying at first, but often liberating once you take the leap. The truth is, herpes is far more common than most people realize, and chances are, someone in your social circle has it too. The key is approaching the conversation with honesty, simplicity, and the understanding that how you frame it shapes how they’ll receive it.

When a Secret Society member, first told …

If you live with oral herpes (HSV-1), chances are you’ve hesitated at some point to kiss a loved one—especially during or after a cold sore. The fear of accidentally transmitting the virus can feel overwhelming and isolating, even in the most loving relationships. We would get questions from people who are afraid to kiss their nieces and nephews, children who are afraid to kiss their parents, and vice versa. There are cultures where kissing is part of every day's culture. People who kiss their b…

If you’ve ever left a herpes diagnosis feeling ashamed or scared, here’s a reality check: To doctors, herpes is just a virus—not a moral judgment.

While society treats herpes like a scandalous secret, medical professionals see it for what it is: a common, manageable skin condition. So why does the public perception differ so much from the clinical one? Let’s break it down.