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Herpes 101
Can You Shave If You Have Herpes?
Shaving might seem like a normal part of self-care, but if you’re living with herpes, it can sometimes stir up questions—and even outbreaks. The truth is, while you can shave if you have herpes, it’s important to know the risks and alternatives so you can make choices that keep your skin (and your confidence) protected.
Why Shaving Can Trigger Outbreaks
When you shave, you create tiny micro-tears in the skin—even if you don’t notice them. These small breaks in the skin can:
- Make it easier…
When to Expect Your First Outbreak After Exposure to Herpes
One of the most common questions people have after possible exposure to herpes is: “When will I know if I caught it?”
The truth is, there isn’t a simple answer. Herpes doesn’t follow a predictable timeline, and everyone’s experience looks a little different.
The Typical Timeline
If you were exposed to herpes, the average window for a first outbreak is anywhere from 2 to 12 days after contact. That’s why some people notice symptoms very quickly, while others might not.
But here’s where it g…
The First 30 Days: Herpes Diagnosis
So, you’ve just received a herpes diagnosis. Maybe it feels like the air has been knocked out of you. Maybe you’re calm… but confused. Maybe you’re somewhere in between. However you’re feeling—you’re not the only one who’s been there.
All of us in the Secret Society Support Group know what those first 30 days are like. We remember the shock, the tears, the shame, the Google rabbit holes, the moments of wondering: “What now?”
This is your survival guide. And better yet—you don’t have to survive…
How to Talk About Herpes with Your Friends
Telling friends about your herpes diagnosis can feel like standing at the edge of a high dive—terrifying at first, but often liberating once you take the leap. The truth is, herpes is far more common than most people realize, and chances are, someone in your social circle has it too. The key is approaching the conversation with honesty, simplicity, and the understanding that how you frame it shapes how they’ll receive it.
Why Talking About It Matters
When a Secret Society member, first told …
Afraid to Kiss My Loved Ones on the Cheek (Because I Get Cold Sores)
If you live with oral herpes (HSV-1), chances are you’ve hesitated at some point to kiss a loved one—especially during or after a cold sore. The fear of accidentally transmitting the virus can feel overwhelming and isolating, even in the most loving relationships. We would get questions from people who are afraid to kiss their nieces and nephews, children who are afraid to kiss their parents, and vice versa. There are cultures where kissing is part of every day's culture. People who kiss their b…
What Is Herpes to Doctors?
The Medical Truth Behind the Stigma
How Healthcare Professionals Really View Herpes
If you’ve ever left a herpes diagnosis feeling ashamed or scared, here’s a reality check: To doctors, herpes is just a virus—not a moral judgment.
While society treats herpes like a scandalous secret, medical professionals see it for what it is: a common, manageable skin condition. So why does the public perception differ so much from the clinical one? Let’s break it down.
1. Herpes Is Medically Mundane
"H…
What You Can & Can’t Do with Herpes
Living With Herpes Doesn’t Mean Living in a Bubble
One of the biggest fears after a herpes diagnosis is the sudden belief that your life is now full of restrictions.
Can I kiss my kids?
Can I swim in a pool?
Do I need separate dishes?
The good news? Herpes doesn’t stop you from living a normal life. But there are a few things to be mindful of—especially during outbreaks. Let’s separate fact from fiction.
✅ Things You CAN Do With Herpes
1. Swim in Pools, Hot Tubs & the Ocean
Herpes is n…
We're Promoting Sexual Freedom, but Shaming STDs Like Herpes
We Claim to Be Sex-Positive—So Why the Double Standard?
We live in an era that celebrates sexual liberation—open relationships, casual dating, and body positivity are mainstream. Yet, despite all this progress, herpes stigma remains one of the last socially acceptable forms of shame.
Think about it:
- We encourage people to explore their sexuality without judgment.
- We preach acceptance for all kinds of relationships.
- We normalize conversations about pleasure, kinks, and sexual health.
Bu…
How I Spent My 4th of July with a Herpes Diagnosis - Oh Sh*T Anniversary Pt. 7
Everything feels so out of reach when you are first diagnosed. Everything comes crumbling down and you feel like you're never going to be able to come up for air. It's suffocating and terrifying at the same time. Would love to tell you after I was diagnosed I picked up and was able to straighten my life out right away. That wasn't the case and I did not have a rebound in one day or even the week later.
Back when I was diagnosed I was really struggling. So now it's the 4th of July. I had pla…
What Doctor Said when I Went for My Physical: Oh Sh*T Anniversary pt.3
In case you missed it, we're in the middle of the Oh Shit Anniversary. It was 14 years ago I was diagnosed with herpes.
Now it's Tuesday and I know something is wrong. This is the same day as it was eleven years ago. By now the blisters had fully shown up and I was in unbelievable pain. I felt so sick and could not imagine what was going on. Today was supposed to be just a regular physical but instead it turned into the day to go to the doctors and get a resolution.
I had totally mixed …