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Herpes 101
I’m Brave Because I Talk About Herpes
People often tell me I’m “brave” because I talk openly about herpes. And every time I hear it, I can’t help but think: why should this even be considered brave? We’re talking about a virus — one that’s incredibly common, ridiculously easy to catch, and in no way a reflection of someone’s worth. Kids get it. People in committed relationships get it. Partners who cheat pass it on. People who have been assaulted carry it. Yet somehow, herpes is still wrapped in stigma and silence.
And please, don'…
I Shared With Somebody Who Gets Cold Sores. Do I Have Herpes Now?
We’ve all been there—you borrow a drink, share a bite of food, or maybe even use the same lip balm as a friend who casually says, “Oh, don’t worry, it’s just a cold sore.” Cue the panic: Did I just catch herpes?
Let’s break this down together.
First Things First: Cold Sores = Oral Herpes
Cold sores are caused by herpes simplex virus type 1 (HSV-1). It’s incredibly common—more than half the world’s population has it. Many people pick it up in childhood, often without even knowing.
How HSV…
Can You Shave If You Have Herpes?
Shaving might seem like a normal part of self-care, but if you’re living with herpes, it can sometimes stir up questions—and even outbreaks. The truth is, while you can shave if you have herpes, it’s important to know the risks and alternatives so you can make choices that keep your skin (and your confidence) protected.
Why Shaving Can Trigger Outbreaks
When you shave, you create tiny micro-tears in the skin—even if you don’t notice them. These small breaks in the skin can:
- Make it easier…
When to Expect Your First Outbreak After Exposure to Herpes
One of the most common questions people have after possible exposure to herpes is: “When will I know if I caught it?”
The truth is, there isn’t a simple answer. Herpes doesn’t follow a predictable timeline, and everyone’s experience looks a little different.
The Typical Timeline
If you were exposed to herpes, the average window for a first outbreak is anywhere from 2 to 12 days after contact. That’s why some people notice symptoms very quickly, while others might not.
But here’s where it g…
Have a Herpes Question?
Living with herpes can feel confusing sometimes. Whether you’re newly diagnosed or you’ve been managing it for years, there always seem to be new questions popping up:
- “Why did I test negative after testing positive years ago?”
- “Can I kiss my kids if I get cold sores?”
- “What products really help during an outbreak?”
- “How do I talk to a partner about herpes?”
If you’ve ever wished you could get clear, supportive, and trustworthy answers—without spending hours lost in Google rabbit holes—…
The First 30 Days: Herpes Diagnosis
So, you’ve just received a herpes diagnosis. Maybe it feels like the air has been knocked out of you. Maybe you’re calm… but confused. Maybe you’re somewhere in between. However you’re feeling—you’re not the only one who’s been there.
All of us in the Secret Society Support Group know what those first 30 days are like. We remember the shock, the tears, the shame, the Google rabbit holes, the moments of wondering: “What now?”
This is your survival guide. And better yet—you don’t have to survive…
How to Talk About Herpes with Your Friends
Telling friends about your herpes diagnosis can feel like standing at the edge of a high dive—terrifying at first, but often liberating once you take the leap. The truth is, herpes is far more common than most people realize, and chances are, someone in your social circle has it too. The key is approaching the conversation with honesty, simplicity, and the understanding that how you frame it shapes how they’ll receive it.
Why Talking About It Matters
When a Secret Society member, first told …
Afraid to Kiss My Loved Ones on the Cheek (Because I Get Cold Sores)
If you live with oral herpes (HSV-1), chances are you’ve hesitated at some point to kiss a loved one—especially during or after a cold sore. The fear of accidentally transmitting the virus can feel overwhelming and isolating, even in the most loving relationships. We would get questions from people who are afraid to kiss their nieces and nephews, children who are afraid to kiss their parents, and vice versa. There are cultures where kissing is part of every day's culture. People who kiss their b…
What Is Herpes to Doctors?
The Medical Truth Behind the Stigma
How Healthcare Professionals Really View Herpes
If you’ve ever left a herpes diagnosis feeling ashamed or scared, here’s a reality check: To doctors, herpes is just a virus—not a moral judgment.
While society treats herpes like a scandalous secret, medical professionals see it for what it is: a common, manageable skin condition. So why does the public perception differ so much from the clinical one? Let’s break it down.
1. Herpes Is Medically Mundane
"H…
What You Can & Can’t Do with Herpes
Living With Herpes Doesn’t Mean Living in a Bubble
One of the biggest fears after a herpes diagnosis is the sudden belief that your life is now full of restrictions.
Can I kiss my kids?
Can I swim in a pool?
Do I need separate dishes?
The good news? Herpes doesn’t stop you from living a normal life. But there are a few things to be mindful of—especially during outbreaks. Let’s separate fact from fiction.
✅ Things You CAN Do With Herpes
1. Swim in Pools, Hot Tubs & the Ocean
Herpes is n…