Herpes 101

If you’ve been worrying that a herpes diagnosis automatically disqualifies you from military service, take a breath — that’s not the case. Herpes (whether HSV-1 or HSV-2) is incredibly common, medically manageable, and NOT considered a barrier to joining the U.S. military or most other national armed forces.

The military’s medical standards focus on conditions that:

Talking to kids about herpes doesn’t have to feel scary, awkward, or “too much.”

With the right language, you can normalize the virus, reduce shame before it even starts, and actually help your kids grow up with healthier attitudes about bodies, boundaries, and safety.

The conversation looks different depending on their age — toddlers, kids, pre-teens, and teens each need their own style and level of information.

Let’s break it down.

I was listening to a podcast recently about a historical figure who had leprosy. As the host described how people viewed leprosy at the time—fear, avoidance, moral judgment, shame and divine punishment—my first thought was:

It was a strange moment of realization:

Everything they described—how people isolated leprosy patients, saw them as “unclean,” believed they were morally at fault—sounded painfully familiar.…

This is such a common question we get from people, and honestly, one, that is so hard to answer, because what we're working on, are estimates. Statistics that give a general idea. None of them do, or, let's be honest, can, predict all the factors.

And when you Googled 'Transmission rates herpes', depending on what website you clicked, you probably walked away either terrified… or confused.

Let’s break it down in a way that actually makes sense.

A lot…

When you hear the word herpes, you probably think of oral cold sores or genital outbreaks. But herpes can also affect the eyes — a condition called ocular herpes or herpes keratitis.

The idea of herpes affecting the eye understandably sounds alarming, but the good news is:

✔ It’s treatable

✔ It’s usually mild when managed promptly

✔ It doesn’t happen just because you have oral or genital herpes

Let’s break it down.

Ocular herpes is an infection of the eye caused b…

When people Google “herpes encephalitis,” anxiety skyrockets — fast.

Suddenly, a cold sore feels terrifying. A genital outbreak feels like a ticking time bomb.

But here’s the truth you deserve to hear clearly:

👉 Regular oral or genital herpes does NOT cause brain damage, encephalitis, or anything close to it.

Herpes encephalitis is a completely different medical situation than the everyday HSV-1 or HSV-2 infections millions of people live with.

Let’s break this down in a way that makes sens…

If you’ve had herpes for a while, you might have noticed something strange — your outbreaks often seem to appear in the exact same spot. But then, sometimes… they don’t. So what’s really going on? Why does herpes sometimes stick to one place, and other times decide to surprise you somewhere else?

Let’s break it down.

Once you’re infected with the herpes simplex virus (HSV-1 or HSV-2), it doesn’t live on your skin — it hides inside your nerve cells near the spine.

If you’ve been diagnosed with herpes, you’ve probably heard about antivirals. They’re one of the most common tools doctors recommend to manage herpes outbreaks—and for good reason. But what exactly do they do, and how do the different brands compare? Let’s break it down.

What Antivirals do

Herpes is caused by the herpes simplex virus (HSV), which stays in the body for life. Right now, there’s no cure, but antivirals can help by:

People often tell me I’m “brave” because I talk openly about herpes. And every time I hear it, I can’t help but think: why should this even be considered brave? We’re talking about a virus — one that’s incredibly common, ridiculously easy to catch, and in no way a reflection of someone’s worth. Kids get it. People in committed relationships get it. Partners who cheat pass it on. People who have been assaulted carry it. Yet somehow, herpes is still wrapped in stigma and silence.

And please, don'…

We’ve all been there—you borrow a drink, share a bite of food, or maybe even use the same lip balm as a friend who casually says, “Oh, don’t worry, it’s just a cold sore.” Cue the panic: Did I just catch herpes?

Let’s break this down together.

Cold sores are caused by herpes simplex virus type 1 (HSV-1). It’s incredibly common—more than half the world’s population has it. Many people pick it up in childhood, often without even knowing.