Living with Herpes and Still Living Your Best Life
Having herpes is actually a blessing.
Here me out on this one. I know you’re not believing me if you were just diagnosed with herpes. And I didn’t see it that way at all back in 2011. I’ve talked to thousands of people who have been diagnosed with herpes and it always starts out the same way. It starts out as, my life is over and how do I cure this. I’ve talked to people who are suicidal, (here’s the hotline if this is where you’re at 800-273-8255). Basically I’ve seen all levels of devastation from a herpes diagnosis.
Then when we’re diagnosed we put all sorts of handicaps on ourselves. It doesn’t matter what it is. It can be about a job, it can be about dating, it can be about earning money, it can be about how smart you are, it can be about dating and so on. We blame having herpes as the reason why we have these other roadblocks in our lives. So here’s a perfect example that I had from someone on our Emergency Calls. I had someone who wanted to join the military and she had been looking forward to this and was pumped. Then she got herpes and she told me that she didn’t think that she’d pass the physical fitness portion of the military requirements because she had herpes. She said that she couldn’t train and do her daily runs because she was afraid she was going to get an outbreak. Well, we dug a little deeper and learned that she's unconsciously using herpes as her reason not to do her workouts. Really what was being triggered was a past eating disorder and her relationship with food and exercise. So as you can see here herpes really had nothing to do with it yet it was getting all of the blame.
I see this time and time again. And I myself had my own issues that I had to work through. I had issues with money, binge eating, self confidence and dating the same guys. I put all of my blame on the fact that I had herpes. I believed that I had to stay with the guy who gave me herpes even though it was a horrible suffocating relationship, I didn't take care of myself health wise and I’m still paying for that now, and my list can go on and on.
Everyone believes in something different, some believe in the universe, others believe it spirts I believe in God. Actually I’m a minister so I’m really into the God thing. Anyway, insert your belief if you don't believe in God. But I believe that God was giving me little warnings here and there like hey you’re dating the wrong guys because you haven't done your self work yet, or hey all the acne you’re getting is because something's going on in your body and you’re not addressing it, and hey all the yeast infection that you’ve had for 2 years and couldn’t get rid of etc. I think that He was trying to help me live my best life and I was not having it.
It took me getting herpes to wake up and actually begging to live my life.
Now that I had herpes I realized that nothing was going to pull me out of the Eeyore phase that I was in. I was going to continue to binge eat, I was going to continue to stay in an unhealthy relationship I was going to keep letting people treat me poorly etc. That was not what I wanted for my life and that was not what God wanted for my life.
I invite you to look at some of the handicaps you put on yourself now that you have herpes. Is it you can’t date? Well maybe there was something else there before? In fact, I can pretty much bet that there was. Is it that you can get into shape because you’re afraid you’ll get outbreaks from working out? Well there was probably something else holding you back before.
There was a woman in our Secret Society who made a really great post. It said something like, “I loved my kids, I loved pizza, I loved wine, I loved my job, I had x amount in my bank account, I owned my dream house all before I had herpes. Now that I have herpes I love my kids, I still love pizza, I still love wine and my job, I still have the same amount in my bank account and I still live in my house. Nothing about having herpes has changed who I am.
My point here was having herpes doesn’t mean that your life is over. Nor does it mean that you are a different person. It does give you the opportunity to see where there were some blind spots in your life and it does give you the opportunity to make those changes for the better.
I decided to make the changes to live a healthier life, to clean up my diet, get rid of toxic people, stand up for myself and so on. Getting herpes humbled me tremendously and was the biggest wake up call I could ever have. I wouldn't trade that for the life that I’m living now.
If you’re needing some extra support and would love a community we have the perfect place. This is why I started the Secret Society. It’s our online secret community filled with people from all over the world, all ages, and all walks of life who are all here to find support and comfort. I seriously wish I had this when I was diagnosed with herpes back in 2011. Anyway, it’s a monthly membership and you can join here.