086: Have Him (or Her) Your Way, with Jenn Burton

Life With Herpes


Your Fairy Godmama has got your back...

Welcome to this edition of Life With Herpes. One of the most common topics people ask me about is dating, and I could think of no better person to share with you than Jenn Burton.

Jenn’s business is called Have Him Your Way - and it’s based on her life story of dating, relationships and marriages. She always tried to be who she thought the man wanted her to be. One day she woke up and said no more. Hear what happened next and much more on this episode of Life With Herpes!

Jenn is the first to tell you she used to be a hot mess. She was the queen of how to lose a guy in 10 days. While separated during her first marriage she came to the realization that the entire relationship was based on him: it was about what he wanted, when he wanted it.

That night she was on her knees sobbing asking for a sign, which came along three days later when a man asked if he could take her out on a “real date”. Everything changed from there.

She went from being the woman trying to figure out the man to being the woman who liked men but was going to focus on herself. It was then that men started crawling out of the woodwork. Her dating life became magical and fun - all because she began to put herself first and interact with men differently.

On this episode I also asked Jenn a question I hear often: what should you do if you invest time in dating someone only to have them reject you when you tell them you have herpes?

Jenn says just as in life there are no guarantees in dating. One of the things she has found important is to stand for yourself, explore your romantic options and disclose when you are ready to disclose. If the person you have been dating can't handle it then that person is not meant for you, someone else is meant for you. Don’t live your life playing small romantically because you have a virus.

And doing something called mantourage dating can also help. Mantourage dating is dating more than one man at a time till you meet your forever man, or indefinitely if you so choose.

When she left her marriage in 2006 she did exactly this. She decided she was going to throw out all the dating rules, and instead she would explore herself romantically and explore men in a different way. Instead of trying to get to the destination of a committed relationship and marriage she was going to enjoy the moment and enjoy the journey.

Mantourage dating doesn't mean you have to sleep with multiple men - it's merely the act of going out on dates with men. Remember these are actual dates, not just hanging out. Be sure to clarify his romantic intentions so there are no mixed signals, and playfully let him know what you want too.

Today we also talk about how to know when you should tell the person you are dating you have herpes, and why masturbation is something women should do more. Our last few minutes of the show are all about you: we answer your questions including whether or not there's ever a good time for an ultimatum! Hear all of that and more this episode of Life With Herpes.


Don’t Miss Jenn’s Gift For Our Life With Herpes Community:

Jenn Burton’s gift for you


Ways To Connect With Jenn

3 Way's I Can Help

  1. Join our monthly live Herpes Support Group - www.lifewithherpes.com/supportgroup
  2. Herpes Outbreak Toolkit - //herpes-outbreak-toolkit
  3. Emergency Call - https://app.acuityscheduling.com/schedule.php?owner=13691061&appointmentType=6092800

Keep in touch with Alexandra Harbushka





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