032: If You Don't Have Sex, Then You Won't Get Herpes with Alexandra Harbushka

Finances, Sex and Herpes

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Life With Herpes Podcast

Thanks for joining me and spending your time with the Life With Herpes podcast! Today I was listening to a Tony Robbins' book, Unshakable, on Audible. It's a great book about creating wealth for yourself; it obviously is not about herpes but something he said inspired today’s show.

Listen in to hear what he said and what he inspired me to share with you about herpes on episode 32 of Life With Herpes!


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In his book Unshakable, Tony Robbins was talking about money, depending on what your generation is and the different struggles for each. As a millennial I understand, in 2007, 2008, and 2009 so many of us went through difficult times. He was saying that so many people now are so scared to invest their money because they saw what happened when the stock market flatlined. It scared people out of investing. Their logic is the #1 way to ensure you do not lose your money is to not invest it. But if you don't, you aren't going to make any additional money and you certainly aren't going to grow your wealth.


Obviously we aren't here to talk about finances but it got me thinking about how this same principle applies to herpes.


Based on the number of people who have herpes (75% to 80% of the population has HSV-1 or HSV-2), you are guaranteed to come in contact with the herpes virus.

Whether it's through a friend who shares their glass with you when they have oral herpes or through sexual contact with a partner, you're going to come in contact with herpes. And if you have sex you are nearly guaranteed to come into contact with the virus.


So why do we have such a stigma about it if just by living our lives we are nearly guaranteed to come in contact with the herpes virus? If you think about it the only way to 100% ensure we aren't exposed to herpes is if we become a hermit and never come into contact with other people again.

It's like having all of your money stored in a mattress - it doesn't help you grow your wealth, it doesn't help the economy because that money isn't being circulated. It doesn't help others because you aren't gifting it. But what type of life is that? Hust like living in a cave by yourself to avoid getting herpes isn't much of life.


It's one of the reasons I stress the importance of taking precautions if you have herpes: even if you don't have an outbreak you can still pass it on. In fact, the majority of transmissions happen when there is not an outbreak. That’s why I want you to know all you can: so you can prevent outbreaks and prevent passing it onto people you love.


Tweetable:  “You can still have herpes and enjoy having sex.” - Alexandra Harbushka

It’s also important you understand you can still have herpes and enjoy a beautiful relationship with someone. You can do everything possible to prevent passing it to your loved one and still have sex. I mean having sex is part of being alive, part of being a human! But if you don't want to get it or pass it, then you can just not have sex and give up on that part of life.


However it's not much of a life, is it? Instead, you can be transparent with your lovers, talk about the facts of it and talk about what can be done to ensure you don't pass it on. And that's really where the intimacy happens, and that is what makes sex special: sharing the connection and emotions that go with sex. Nothing is sexier than being honest and vulnerable - so sharing that you have herpes is sexy!

I want you to enjoy life, and sex is one of the aspects of it. Just because you have herpes doesn't mean you can't have sex and you can’t enjoy sex! I'm very passionate about this subject, and you'll hear it in my voice on today's 32nd edition of Life With Herpes.


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