Herpes And Sex Can Go Together

Herpes diagnosis and liberated sex life don’t normally go in the same sentence or even in the same conversation. When I hear liberated sex life I think of the sexual revolution and that does not include herpes.  

But  here’s the deal it’s totally possible to be liberated and have your own sexual revolution with your herpes diagnosis. Of course this takes time and does not happen overnight. When you’re diagnosed with herpes the last thing on your mind is having sex or even thinking that you can become liberated from just being diagnosed with a STD that you’ll have the rest of your life and that has a huge stigma.  

Here are 3 ways your herpes diagnosis can liberate your sex life:

1. Communicate - you’re forced to talk about having herpes from now on. Telling your partner that you have herpes is something that you have to discuss so that you can prevent transmission as well as do the ethical thing. So now that you’re having conversations that are uncomfortable and you’re communicating with your partner you can begin to have other big or difficult conversations. The more you communicate and talk to your partner the deeper your connection is and the deeper your relationship is. 

2. No hiding behind your secret - When you’re diagnosed with herpes you feel like you have the little dark secret. And until you make peace with having herpes it is a secret but once you begin to disclose and date and put yourself out there you’re breaking the stigma, making peace with your diagnosis and telling the people that you tell that you’re a strong, honest person who happens to have herpes. In other words you’re building your confidence and not living in the shadow of having herpes

3. You know who’s really into you for you - Rejection is one of the fears that holds us back and keeps us from being set free or liberated from our herpes diagnosis. So when you go out and date and tell your partner that you have herpes you get to know who really cares about your or who was just into you for the sex. Yes, rejection hurts especially if you really liked the person but knowing that someone is really into you for you and will be there for you regardless of a little herpes outbreak is so freeing. 

So as you can see you can look at having herpes as a curse or you were dealt a bad hand at life and now things are going to be so much harder for you. Or you can look at it as a freeing and liberating experience. I know I didn’t think I wanted to go through this next growth opportunity because I thought I was strong and I thought I was communicating with my partners and so on but the truth is being diagnosed with herpes was a lesson I needed to learn and go through. And you know what? It’s been the best thing that’s happened to me and I would not be where I am today if I didn’t get herpes. 

I talk about sex and sexually health on a recent Life With Herpes Podcast interview with Dr. Sami Longo-Disse. She’s a former sex worker, a psychologist and a sexological bodyworker who goes into depth on all of this. If you’re interested in this topic then you should check out her interview here. 

Also, speaking of Sami, she’ll be speaking at our next Life With Herpes retreat so you’ll want to hear and speak and of course have the opportunity to ask her questions. So you can go here to book your seat at our next event

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